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The Halls of the Fallen King: A Trust Exercise

Since I am in the editing process with the first book in the Beating Back the Darkness series, I have the freedom to work on book two.  I don't have much time to work on The Halls of the Fallen King, but I do try to peck away at it in my spare time.  And so over the first month or so of writing I have noticed something a bit strange, the writing has been... a bit hard.

Now to put it in the proper context, I must confess something that perhaps only a few already know.  My secret about the first book, Dragon's Fire is that I simply wrote the book that the Lord instructed me to write.  He clearly gave me the freedom to flesh out the story, but the main story arc was laid out for me early on.  It was just my task to connect all the proverbial dots.  It was a daunting task, but it was fun, and often it came fast and furious as he essentially provided me with the downloads I needed to get it done.

However, during the process of writing that book, He did something else.  He began giving me the plot and outline for a significant number of books that would follow along.  Some of them would eventually become a part of the first series, while others may be an entirely new series within the same world and universe.  What that gave me though, was an unprecedented urgency to finish book one to begin the work of the many books that would follow.  It gave me confidence too, but the urgency was overwhelming.

So naturally, I was ecstatic to be freed up to begin the work on the next book.  So I quickly jumped into The Halls of the Fallen King with both feet.  What I found is that while there was a framework that the Lord had loosely established for the theme and the overall plot, it was very much up to me to work for it.  It was different this time around.  The training wheels had come off, and He was telling me that it was time to heed His instruction, but that the handle bars were firmly in my grasp.  

Now that concept might have been confusing to some, I know it was to me at first.  Why would He give me instruction, yet let me steer the ship myself?  He helped me understand the lesson through his indirect teaching.  It all happened when questions regarding my first book, Dragon's Fire, were brought up.  Questions that could, and would ultimately alter the ending of the book (which I will not spoil).  

As the potential change to my book, His book, came to the forefront, I understood that a legitimate need to alter the ending of the book might exist.  But I feared that doing so would undermine what He called me to write.  So I did the only thing I knew to do, I prayed.  But He didn't answer me.  It was only a week, but it felt like years slipped by since I had heard His voice.  In the silence, I could barely sleep as I pondered the different directions that could come of the book.  I pondered the thought of the book being doomed.  I also pondered the thought of departing from the true source material.  It was in that silent contemplation that He helped me become more aware of all the junk in my own heart.  Junk that needed to be cleaned up.

So when He finally spoke, I was prepared to listen.  Even though He already knew my heart, He asked about my motivation for writing.  I was able to be honest with Him, and I was able to surrender.  The great thing is, that He never actually asked me to give up anything; just the illusion of control.  It was a trust exercise.  

So when I tried to hit the ground running on The Halls of the Fallen King and found it was a grind, I was okay.  I understood that He had given me enough to work with, but He was also giving me an opportunity to connect the dots once more.  This time it just had less dots, meaning He was showing more trust in me this time around.  Another exercise in trust.  Which means I have a great responsibility to focus on His will for this book even moreso than the first.

Then something very interesting, and quite unexpected happened.  I listened to a few of Garrett Weaver's songs, and something about the music brought me back to my time in Fayetteville, NC.  A song that I had not listened to in at least six years rushed back into my memory.  

In 2002, a local band named DL Token came out with a song called Corpse Within My Soul.  Then to my surprise I felt the Holy Spirit urging me to listen to the song again.  This seemed strange to me, because this isn't exactly praise and worship music.  However I did go and listen to song, and a very cool thing happened next.  Similar to the way that the first book was shared with me, the Lord showed me the story arc of the central characters in The Halls of the Fallen King play out before me like an animated music video.  Instantly, the entire story had been painted for me.  I just had to connect the dots once more, but much of the guess work had now been removed.

Corpse Within My Soul starts at 44:31 - Sorry for the poor audio quality.

I hardly expected to find revelation or insight here, but I would take it.  The Lord shared more with me after that, but for the sake of not spoiling the book, I cannot divulge any details, but lets just say it was the start of yet another exercise in trust.  Then the lightbulb came on as I realized that these trust exercises are very much like the parable spoken of in Matthew 25: 21 & 29.

21 “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together![b]’

29 To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.

What is trust exercise are you in?